Wednesday, February 18, 2009

how to succeed

step 1: have a twisted idea of humbleness in your head. for example, someone would say "hey, thats a good blog you have" or "i liked your story", at which i would respond: "I can't write"

step 2: don't use smilies. ever. the proper use of the english language eliminates the need for them, and would you really ever use smilies in a professional document? no.

step 3: be as formal and brief as possible. example: it is someone's birthday today. you put up a simple white sheet of paper and type in 42 size font: Today is your birthday. Don't forget the comma, as it is totally appropriate to the situation. it's not like they cured cancer or anything.

step 4: always wear the same thing, everyday, if you are male. if you are female, wear anything that makes you look like a 24 year old model.

step 5: learn really big words, especially concerning literary or media criticism. then you can be like "that book was bad" or "that movie was terrible"

more steps to come.

1 comment:

Cree said...

You totally did not steal any of that from the office.