Tuesday, December 1, 2009

i'm confused

why, biola, do you not set up your application process to check to see whether i have paid or not?

Christmas = missions trip to Bolivia. Funfunfun

Yellow Fever shots hurt pretty bad.

I won't lie, I'm tired of blogging. maybe some other year...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

i read it for the articles, really

so i've read enough esquire and GQ mags to learn what I should know about women. Here's a summary:

1. Most women like to be touched. But not really. It's either got to be a full on hug, or, in the case of the more skittish, a side hug. but feel free to go all captain morgan on them, and go with the full hug.

2. Men should, apparently, look nice, but not impeccable.

3. Men should be assertive, but not controlling.

4. In summary: a man should be a man, whatever that may be. women apparently have a hard time making up their minds

mystery solved

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Listening to: Daft Punk - Too Long/Steam Machine - Live
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, October 15, 2009

the new slang is no slang

the music you may or may not be currently listening to that is posted here, on this blog, is the sappiest love song ever. but it is sooooooo good. it's sensual, without being sexy. or maybe its vice versa. or maybe it's both, i don't know, its like eating candy. definitely movie music. anyhow...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

nothing

i don't think i've seen any of my friends for 3 weeks now. i've only been outside of the house for class, church, and picking up my brother. i've been up until two every night, watching monty python's flying circus. i guess this is life for now.

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This post written while listening to: Franz Ferdinand - I'm Your Villain
via FoxyTunes

Monday, October 12, 2009

if you'll excuse me, i have to go argue on the internet.

apparently, early applications are a scam designed to force people to choose a college and stick to it.

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/early-students-college-2601138-decision-colleges

good thing i'm only applying to one!

i slept in to like eleven today. on a monday. this can't be good.

i might be working at baskin robbins in a few weeks. it might be fun.


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This post was written while listening to: Interpol - Stella Was a Diver and She Was Always Down
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

on a sugar rush

want to know how?

8 lemons, squeeze 'em, get the juice.
mix a simple syrup, 1 part lemon juice, 1 part sugar
drink straight. effects last for approx. ten minutes. recommended for sniping.

also, this girl has the best voice ever. little too avant-garde in her dress, though. close your eyes if strange patterns affect you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYJjHCZN46U&feature=related

or there's always something different:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VAnCUjwRy0&NR=1

strange, dark comedy abounds. not recommended for those who have had their hand chopped off.

life without

firefox recently reported to me that i access the facebook login page, on average, 49 times a day. so i'm taking it off for a day (yes, all the farmville crops have been planted and set at least 2 days). also, 3 people reported over the last couple of days that they reached a given number of friends, so this should piss them off royally.

it feels really, really strange without facebook. its like i habitually go to it every time i turn on firefox.

what exactly is the meaning of liff? after 1.5 hours of monty python sketches, all i can determine is this: obscenely obese people need to go. thanks a lot, terry jones. you have saved us all.

and now for something COMPLETELY different:

also, radiohead concerts are amazing. i hope to go in the next few years. and if daft punk ever decides to play again, i will be there.

working on the app to biola, and filled out the housing card instead. it was far more fun. what's scary is how to pay, but i guess i'll figure that out soon enough.
btw, if there are any lazy, intrepid, totally relaxed males with a business major and a surfboard, who love alt rock and video games, hit me up! actually, i'll just settle for the chillaxed factor, because i don't need someone stressing all the time. also, if we can, like, mutually think each other is awesome, that would be cool.... actually, i'll keep that one for marriage.

Breaking news: Relient K released a new album. Must discover quickly.

now you see why i like monty python? a bunch of barely related skits and gags?

Monday, September 21, 2009

the british are funny!

after watching simon pegg's shawn of the dead and hot fuzz, and ricky gervais' the office (the original uk edition), i am fully convinced the british are much better at humor than we are. well, most of the time.

i am also certain that the europeans have better electro/rock dance music than we do. we dance to hip hop. they dance to subliminal beats. i rather have the latter. a sample song + remix in the music box, try them both! or you won't know what you're missing.

i suppose it's time to move back across the pond, then. sure hope i've got my british accent down. right. off we go.

Monday, August 31, 2009

the endless summer

want to make summer last as long as you want?

1. don't work hard! or better yet, get your schoolwork done for the week on monday. you have a syllabus and a schedule. just get it over with!

2. hit the beach! flaunt your fun in front of your friends! learn an awesome skill! these three things will make any "fall" day more like summer.

3. summer is really a mentality. keep thinking summer thoughts.

4. stay with your job, if you have one. if you don't have one, stay away from a job.

5. wear shorts and t-shirts every day.

6. please remember that you will likely be alone during your extended summer. unless you plan to wave your artificial freedom in front of your friends, don't bother them.

7. work on your tan. it's not that hard, just be outside.

and now, for the deadlines...

8. summer ends at thanksgiving. sorry. no exceptions, unless you fly to the other side of the world. but this post isn't intended for you people.

9. alternatively, if it snows, summer is over. so, like, alaska?

10. hold out as long as you can. when you quit, and think, "summer is over" summer ends for you.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

certified mac genius

and now for something completely unrelated:

while i wait for certain downloads to complete, i figure the most industrious waste of my time should be divided between pointless digital scribblings and facebook. and now that facebook is devoid of new content, and that wonderful little box in the bottom right corner lies dormant, i suppose i'll write on what i learned this summer.

i learned that, just because you're love vacations, doesn't mean that vacations love you. (unless you're in soviet russia)

i learned that cruises are for old and fat people, and occasionally both. also, germans have better schools than we do.

i learned that certain things are to be enjoyed with your family, and certain things are best enjoyed alone.

i learned that the ocean frees your mind.

i learned that, while i love all females, i can't stand them for prolonged periods of time. you people talk too much.

i learned that sometimes i can be completely extroverted, and also completely introverted.

i learned that watching mickey rourke hit his wrestling buddy with iron skillets and aluminum containers is humorous to men only.

i learned that fries are excellent dipped in strawberry and chocolate shakes, but not in vanilla or soda.

i learned that anything you do can end up on the webz. this is not always a bad thing.

i learned that you should always set a day off every week for rest and recuperation.

i learned that a deck of cards is invaluable. bring one everywhere.

i learned that the hero actually does always win in real life, he just has to wait much longer.

Friday, August 14, 2009

harvest '09

yay! relient k tomorrow!

well, skillet will be there too, but hopefully they'll be better live than what i've heard, which is nickelback type rock: simple rock, no effects, not much layering,, too much distortion/overdrive. but whatever, i'm not into it, but others might be, which is more important.

at any rate, check out silversun pickups! they're absolutely awesome. music posted

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

uh huh yeah

i bought yet another paintball gun, in the excuse that it comes with two air tanks so i can use one with another already owned gun. and it comes with sexy, sexy, fingerless gloves.

also, i am joining the army/air force. isn't that awesome? now i can travel the world for free on my leave, and have a place to stay and eat wherever i land. yes, like hawaii, japan, or wherever i choose.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

but that's the definition of irony

didn't really feel like facebooking these stati.

reading a review on the honda insight. side ads are for toyota prius.

flash drive got really, really hot today and burned out and failed. i was loading firewall software on it.

found a penny at jc penny. couldn't buy anything, though.

MyLifeIsAverage?

also, music change.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

done

school's out, why should i blog? nothing ever happens around here anyways...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

bloody hands and blackened faces

dug out some older my chemical romance albums, and realized something:

the emo people are right. love is best seen in death. the greater the angst, the stronger the passion. or something like that.

and, apparently, there are two options to do this: the noble sacrifice of self for other, or the giant pity party thrown because of an unstoppable disease. woohoo!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

hung over

too much of a good thing, but here are the best of those good things

wine is crap nasty. but it gets better with every sip! had a quarter glass hidden in a tea cup.

shrimp is awesome, so are prawns

michael jackson is dead? whaaat??

billy mays too? whaaat??

who's farrah fawcett?

don't hit on girls you don't know. especially if you're both underage.

more later

Friday, June 19, 2009

on vacation

again. i can see russia from my cruise ship!

Friday, June 12, 2009

sometimes i think i abuse my powers of observation, which allow me to determine what is occurring within one's life. invasion of privacy? perhaps. but i can't help but point out to myself who's feeling depressed, who's incredibly happy, who's NOT at home, and who's highly insecure. there are more, but you wouldn't want to know what i know. of course, there are others who play the game with me, but i'm the only one who actually consciously hides what i'm feeling.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

satire

here's how to write truly biting, hilarious, satire. both family guy and the simpsons are experts at this, and now i'll show you some tricks of the trade.

1. fully incorporate the soul into your satire.

(example: twitter plus blonde)

i luv to heart me!!! this thing is allll about me!!!
posted 1 minute ago

just realized that i amm the mostt important part of my life ROXLFX
posted 2 minutes ago

I iz soooo speciall
posted 3 minutes ago

thus, you incorporate the typical blonde joke, a tongue in cheek analysis of twitter, and the caffeinated double or triple key tap at the end of various words, which is 2nd on the list of most annoying things in the world after smilies.

2nd, you must be funny without seeming intentional. Humor stems from the truth displayed in a different way. The drier the satire, the better.

3rd, never force something or try too hard. Good satire is easy to write.

4th, if you have a hidden agenda against the things you skewer, it becomes far easier to write.

thanks for reading! pokemon FTW!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

you know

that Heineken commercial?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jqZTJk30qg

yeah, that driver looks more drunk than anyone else in that car

Thursday, June 4, 2009

more from vacation

@7:24 cough? sore throat? not good.

@7:45 told it might be allergies. gonna spend some time outside.

@9:20 not allergies.

@10:56 hopefully, will be cured soon. asian power, activate!

psuedo twitter

@10:28 going to the shopping center on TheBus. everything is spelled differently here.

@11:36 lego store placed right next to a 30 foot picture of gisele bundchen in lingerie. ok...

@13:02 why do we always do the most walking in the hottest part of the day?

@15:20 poki is addicting.

@16:09 family guy on the bus lol

@17:21 5 feet waves on the outside. gotta wait a little while though.

@17:33 totally dodged like five gazillion noobs. one got hit by their own board LOL!

@20:04 wow this ramen is awesome. like, real ramen. not the instant crap.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

no title

on vacation. not telling where. will be back... eventually.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Day 21

So, i'm pretty sure i failed that challenge. but whatever, now i know i am currently incapable of writing that amount.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Day 13

alright, its term paper time. give me three days break, and i'll have a 1000 word paper on why YOU need an ipaper.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Day 12

*post has been deleted*

Day 11.5

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
No funny caption, because I'm weird like that.

Today, I am so drained that even video games are boring and a drag. I can’t work, I can’t think, I cannot do anything that involves major mental thinking. Hell, I’m surprised I’m capable of writing this thing. The important part about this is that the natural state of man is happiness, so I am quite happy. But until the drugs wear off, consider this: what can you possibly do when stimulation hurts?
Sleep is a most excellent way to work off this unusual state. You can go enter dreamland, where everything is great, even when it’s weird. The only problem occurs when you wake up, because all then you’re not in sleep, and then you’re not happy.
Shopping on the internet, especially for things you would never, ever, need, is also great. Buying things in your head is apparently very similar, brain-wise, to actually purchasing it. And then you’ll get extra happy, because buying things always makes people happy.
Eating requires very little brain exercise, and of course, keeps your jaw moving. Because keeping your jaw moving is pointless unless necessary, and when your brain is in this comatose state, moving your jaw is what you really need to do.
Yeah, so, I guess, I’m still slightly high.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Day 11

no posting today. day of rest. post double tomorrow.

Day 10

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
Halfway there/like second base/that double entendre/is in bad taste BURMA SHAVE




a picture is worth a thousand words

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Day 9

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
Oooohhhh.... Day 9.

After thinking about it for some time, I realized that I actually can afford to love, just not as a long term relationship. My love is like a jar of red vines. There may be a lot, and it may be awesome, but eventually that jar and lid is nothing more than a child’s medieval helmet and shield.
What do I really want? I like handholding, the hugging, the hanging out, the doing things, the laughing, the feeling of knowing someone special knows I’m special too. Isn’t life weird like that? Why does God put these strange, impractical desires in us?
Yes, we men live to have what I call “physical emotions”. Males still have emotions…I suppose. But, really, the actual touching part is what most men thrive on. Punching equals anger. Or friendship. Our physical words are subtle and confusing. Beware, she who attempts to decipher the secret code! Don’t worry, most of us don’t even try to figure out the opposite gender anyways.
Anyhow, maybe those ads that are ever present on my facebook, or almost anywhere I go, can assist me on this quest. But it is important to remember the number one rule: never hook up with someone you met online.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Day 8

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
"Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand." - George Orwell, Why I Write

We all know that piracy is wrong. It is illegal. It can land you in a lot of trouble. But many do it. Just look at the number of seeders on a popular recently released TV show. Even though piracy may not hurt anyone, and in fact increases culture everywhere. But until the networks, the studios, the movie makers can see this, the railings are in vain. That is the nature of piracy, and will remain so until greed is abolished. Yes, piracy is awesome and easy. But just because it is so, and just because so many use it, does not make it legal.
“Thievery!” the executives at the MPAA, RIAA, and whoever else opposes piracy. True, while the idea of the creation was copied, the actual experience of the thing has not been stolen. You cannot steal a concert. You cannot steal the movie experience. Why do the MPAA and the RIAA exist? They exist to make money and “protect” ideas. While I agree that stealing songs and calling them your own is wrong, copying songs should not be wrong. In reality, the two have only succeeded at the former, and certainly very little at the latter. The rules of business of changed once again.
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the most responsive to change.” -Darwin, and for once I agree.

lots and lots of music

26 complete albums, 4 EP's, 647 songs (and counting!), 1.7 days of music, all in 3.5 GB. isn't technology great?

Day 7

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
Although it appears that a day was missed, in reality I still wrote my quota, because there was no internet in the car to post it.

I cannot imagine how people function when they function differently from me. I am right handed. Seeing left handed people write messes with my head. Watching left handed pitchers throw is even stranger. But people who use the wrong hand are just the beginning of stranger people who function differently.
I can’t imagine being a much taller person than I currently am. It would frighten me. I would be too far off the ground. There’s a kid who’s only in 7th grade and he’s seven feet. Although I could probably do all sorts of awesome things, I can’t imagine being able to do those things
I also cannot imagine being gay. That is just far too weird for my tastes. Actually, let’s not go there.
I cannot imagine life when work is substituted for school. School is sadly all I’ve known. While I’ve had a few jobs here and there, they were not all I did.
I cannot imagine missing a bodily extremity. How would my balance be different? How could I hug people? Would typing still be possible?
I suppose, then, I’m happiest when I’m me. I cannot be anything different unless something drastic happens, but until then, I am who I am. Which is not God.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Day 6

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
And the days drag on.

In heaven, I like to think it will be very similar to earth. Because, of course, earth is awesome. And hopefully, almost everything will be the same. That way I can find the answer to this question: What do women want? There are several various postulations that I have come up with, and here’s a couple.
Women want children. If this were true, then everything, and I mean everything, makes sense. Women get men in order to have kids, and then get their kids to meet other kids, and get those kids to have kids so they can have grandkids. Thus, it can be safe to assume women are mostly responsible for the overpopulation of the world.
Women want to buy things. By buying clothes, make-up, shoes, etc., they find instant gratification that lasts much longer than you know what. Besides, buying stuff doesn’t require a man, unless that man is necessary for… something. The same way a hood ornament is necessary for a car. Unless there is something that woman cannot do, such as the first assumption, men will no longer be necessary and will eventually succumb to science, like all other things. Thus, it can be assumed that women are responsible for the economic crisis and the technology advances.

Day 5

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
Tomorrow is mad ape day. Write everything using words that have three letters or less!

20 or 30 years ago, if I was doing what I’m doing now, I would be considered counterculture. I would be the evil kid who steals your daughters and converts your sons. I would be a punk rocker, a heroin injecting, badass kid and looked down upon because of that. Apparently, some still think my lifestyle is similar to that, apparently because of the way I walk, talk, and dress. Yes, surfing is now considered cool. However, somewhere out there, it’s likely that a small group of people still retain the Nixon era of belief. Isn’t it awesome that the majority now appears to be the rebels?
Of course, what is counterculture today? The increasingly liberal society, while perhaps morally wrong, allows for a much broader and accepting mindset. Only those who can be considered counterculture are those who challenge the rules that have stood since the beginning of mankind. Murder, assault, and rape are still taboo, even in the worst parts of the world. But a time used to be when being counterculture was cool. Being a pseudo-gangster is cool. Actually doing what breaks all the rules is not cool. Because then there will be no rules, and in a world without rules, there are no rebels.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Day 4

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days.
It's hard out here for a writer.

Today, my parent’s small group discussed what they would feel and do after their kids grew up and went into college. It appears obvious that certain parents will keep a close eye on their kid. My parents, sadly, remained mostly silent on this subject, but I’m pretty sure they’ll let me free. But how much contact will I have after that? Biola isn’t too far from home, yet far enough to not live at home and commute each day. It seems pretty clear that the occasional weekend visit is in order, but do I really need to be calling them each day? Every other day? I assume that at the point I’m in college they’ll realize that I lead my own life.
A focal point of discussion was the planning and support that the parents could provide. As a child I was highly independent. I can make critical decisions under pressure. Every day I make sure I accomplish and complete what I need to do. But without the pressure and reminders put on by my parents, can I still maintain this level? It seems to me that most of that pressure and reminders, however, deal with household items and fulfilling other’s needs. Perhaps it is safe to conclude I’ll be fine on my own.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Day 3

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days. They said it was the second day that was gonna be the hardest, but they're wrong. The third day is the hardest.

Music is truly the most passive of all forms of entertainment, and yet the most energizing and emotionally moving. Music has stood for all sorts of different backgrounds, and is often associated with race or lifestyle. But how can these 12 frequencies over several octaves, combined with poetry and rhythm, have such an effect upon us? This, in my opinion, is one of the great mysteries that permeate our world.

What I also ponder is people’s taste of music. While, arguably, certain songs are always beautiful despite their “genre”, most are confined to their style and will rarely be experienced or liked by people outside of that style. Why don’t people like other people’s music if it’s not the same type as their own?

Technically, distortion effects and techno beats should have little effect on what’s being played, if each note and beat is taken directly from a different song and merely transformed into a different frequency. Yet many would never listen to the excellent productions of the Vitamin String Quartet. Surely there must be some other effect occurring in the human mind. But it seems best that we’re all slightly different and critical of other people’s music choices.

I also wonder why some people insist on producing and making music when it’s obvious they can’t. But that’s something for another day.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Day 2

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days. Kinda like eating a worm a day: easy enough, but still nasty.

I will say it now: I think I will remain single for a long time. Aside from the romantic love feeling part, I find it necessary and practical to not love completely. I simply don’t have time for love. I don’t have money for love. And I expect this to be the same until after college, at which point I will serve in the Army. The chance of death is possible. I’d just end up hurting people. If romantic comedies serve any purpose to me, it’s to show how awful these things come out.
This isn’t to say I’m against love. It’s just not practical for me. I have, as I suppose everyone does, a tiny romantic person inside of me. Surely everyone does something to attract the opposite sex at this age, even if they’re not quite ready for or willing to love. And others try to attract a little too much, which can be pretty obvious someone’s desperate.
As for whether I go against all things practical, as love usually does, I can’t possibly imagine what I would do with a girlfriend. Anything a girl could morally provide can currently be found via other methods. Except, maybe, hugs and kisses.


100th post. Free ice cream for all.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Day 1

If you don't know already, I've set a goal to write 200 quality words, for 21 days. Sounds easy, but try doing this alongside all of my homework.


I will admit, I am by no means highly competitive. However, this was not always the case. When I was young, winning was very important. It usually came easily, too, because the only competition available was often my little brother who lacked both skill and decorum. So, as a result, I often expected everything else to be quite similar. Tae-kwon-do was a skill easily perfected, excepting the mock sparring, in which I merely placed high enough and relied on the technical precision of form memorization. Swimming too was usually won, although there was no real prize or glory, just a few ribbons with your name on it, thus making that sport unimportant. But when competing against those significantly larger, faster, and stronger, I was often frustrated and angry. But something has been altered.
I find now that I enjoy the sport for the sake of the sport. It makes no difference whether I achieve victory or not. It remains more important on whether I keep plugging away. At the same time, I tend to shy away from contests. If there is outside pressure for me to perform, I see no need to follow their direction. I make my own paths, with my own power, because I choose to.

Monday, May 4, 2009

4200 words

setting a goal for myself: write 200 words. every day. for 21 days. content will vary, but at least it will be a good exercise. oh, and it has to be quality writing. no blurbs. nothing cited or quoted. must be original. must have good grammar. everything will be posted here. wish me luck. or take the challenge with me. i start tomorrow.

one or the other

am i just highly influential, or do i just have great ideas? either way, i win.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

1984 pt 2

btw, pensacola's theology/social life is totally flawed:

rewards for turning in students who don't follow the rules.

(N)KJV is the only correct translation of the Bible.

No spring break, just study.

You may not open your window.

You may not adjust your thermostat.

and you can't have more than 8 people at a table in the Commons, apparently to stop secret societies.

and they're trying to lure me there with a wave machine.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

1984

been looking up colleges. pensacola sounded fun. now it sounds Orwellian. until i can find three outside sources saying its perfectly fine, i'm not going. the college refuses to be accredited too, because somehow accreditation goes "against our philosophy".

no t-shirts or jeans (NOO!!!)

no rock music (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)

no going to beaches with any sort of surf (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!)

and for the weird stuff:

no pets, not even pet rocks (subject to debate)

no movie theaters (what the...)

no borrowing

no touching people of the opposite sex. oh right. because std's go through the skin. right. right.

oh, and PCC makes Christians look bad. real bad.

Monday, April 20, 2009

can't stop

Saying you're about to quit ends up giving you more material, so here's some wonderfully odd stuff in my life.

Air drumming can often cause people to think you're spasming.

Air guitaring can often cause others to air drum.

You don't sing as well as you think you do.

My blog now has a "Monetize" feature. I am currently earning 1 cent a week.

"If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!" - The Chewbacca defense.

Friday, April 17, 2009

ok fine

i couldn't help it. i've spammed my facebook status a little too much, and i want to keep the current one up, so here goes:

my mouth tastes like blood all the time, and smells of it too. i love it. i must be a vampire. i lack my canines though, they got pulled out. so i'm a twilight vampire. noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

the world is quiet here.

@aplusk beat out @cnn for 1 million twitter followers. yay people in africa get mosquito nets!

coldplay tix are expensive.

and now, back to the break.

i am ninja too

the creators of askaninja.com are taking a break after 4 years of being funny. and i'm taking a break after 6 months of being crappy. be back later!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

noticed

5 surefire ways to get your fb status noticed, something everyone, deep (and sometimes not so deep) inside of them, wants.

1. Quote some well known line from any cult movie.

2. Complain about any current political events.

3. Make a good joke.

4. Use a writing style totally different from anyone else.
4.5 If you tend to have a lot of well-educated friends, using improper grammar can help.

5. Flame somebody. preferably someone who's ALWAYS on FB.

BONUS!: say you're really (emotion), but don't say why.

Technical: FB's live update will ensure whoever's online will usually see your new status. Update your status when many people are online.

Friday, April 3, 2009

today

was another great day. learned something new: the piano and guitar part of the song playing in my blog. so im very satisfied with myself. still working on singing along, but thats ok, these things take a while.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

dont cha

like screwing up polls and opinion askers?

Monday, March 23, 2009

competition

it brings out the best in us. my question: is it the only way to put us at our best? or can love do better?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

magic

i learned how to edit nasty words out of songs. take a look!

really?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090319/ap_on_go_pr_wh/obama

note: he doesn't say when. so really this is the equivalent of saying "everyone dies"

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

funny

LOTR? gotta love this

Monday, March 16, 2009

realization

try seeing things from another person's perspective.

When i do this, i usually get three answers.

1. What an annoying prick.

2. What an ignorant racist.

3. (My favorite) LMAO!!!1!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

a fun game

if you have any of those songs in my playlist, try syncing both your home media player with a song! its really hard, but it will sound like a concert with the slight echo

outspoken

i've been reading about all these people getting fired, or hate mail, or appeared to be a terrorist, because they said something on their blog, or myspace/facebook, or posted such on a forum. this is, suffice to say, somewhat scary. i am very open on the web about my feelings, and i have little self-control if something or someone pisses me off. now, i know my right to free speech is protected, but my right to maintain what could be a good relationship/job is not. so what is the solution? do i quit? do i keep doing this and hope no one ever offends me again? do i encode everything in a grand conspiracy of a puzzle which only manages to reveal itself to one person, who attempts warns the entire world, but no one believes him?

Monday, March 9, 2009

ebay and paintball

So! I've been thinking about getting a new paintball gun for a while now, and i've set my eye on the smart parts ion. so i ask my friend who makes his own custom ones based off this make, and its a big $300. now, despite all my tutoring, and thinking, and college savings, i feel that that would be unjustified. so ebay, here i go.

turns out, ebay has been so kind to grant me 10% off anything in this dark economic time. so now the only problem is convincing every other prospective buyer to not buy my particular marker.

in other words, i'm selling my old gun to a friend, which should help considerably towards this investment in temporary happiness, something even drugs cant do.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

music explanations

1 and 2. great songs, off prospket's march album. which, for some reason, no one has heard of. wake up, people!

3. the song from the watchmen trailer. very dark, very batman like. actually it was in batman, the really old ones

4. an old song, but catchy. don't ever deny that Karen O's voice is not unsexy.

5. and a little of everything. the pseudo-rap part's my favorite tho.

my physical blessing

is an awesome immune system.

Friday, February 27, 2009

small thoughts

does steam from boiling water that you're cooking make your skin better?

what makes 11 tones over audible octaves so pleasurable?

who discovered hot oil plus anything edible equals good?

who thought up cards?

what makes contortionists so special?

why do people make viruses?

how are different cultures created?

why does everyone love social networking?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

bands and bikes

itunes sometimes gets genius right. check out the sidebar to find three songs by a very promising band: a starlit drive.

go. now!

back? hear something different? thats right, female lead vocals. pretty awesome for this type of band. not different, just awesome. oh, and i could listen through the entire album without skips. thats how eerily close to underoath, coldplay, and...um...Muse (kinda, i skip through soldier's poem).

*correction: apparently not a female lead vocalist. but he did a good job sounding like one.

anyways i've been listening on the way home from school while biking. highly dangerous (nearly ran into a van today), but still awesome. oh, and i saw a dead rabbit. he was mostly dead. like, fresh blood still lying around (usually dries up by the time you see one).

It's been a good day.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Great Physical Humor

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/one-way-out-human-catapult-full-episode.html

Guys love this. Most girls do not. It boggles the mind as to why this is.

If you're a guy, click the link above. enjoy.

If you're a girl, you can still watch, and feel pity for him.

OOOOOOOOOO Groin hit! LOL!

Tim...

thinks some people are too addicted to facebook and twitter.

How can you tell? See how many statuses are on one's page. Also, they're notification beggars. These people are also likely to be lazy, have fancy phones, and post pictures of whatever they happen to be doing at that moment.

And, sadly, i set this up to also become a note on facebook. dammit.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

how to succeed pt 2

6. counting is incredibly important for success. practice every day, the same way you would do push-ups every day. start from 1. or 0. 0 works too.

7. always be really extreme in emotion. being either really high or really low gets you noticed. on that note, be either really introverted or extroverted.

8. if you live in england, get a bust of yourself. nothing says "i am fully capable of being awesome" than a proper bust.

9. be controversial. throwing shoes at your boss is a good way to start. then explain the analogy between the boss (stupidity), the shoe (hard objects), you (successful person), and the throwing (this is how i deal with stupidity).

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

how to succeed

step 1: have a twisted idea of humbleness in your head. for example, someone would say "hey, thats a good blog you have" or "i liked your story", at which i would respond: "I can't write"

step 2: don't use smilies. ever. the proper use of the english language eliminates the need for them, and would you really ever use smilies in a professional document? no.

step 3: be as formal and brief as possible. example: it is someone's birthday today. you put up a simple white sheet of paper and type in 42 size font: Today is your birthday. Don't forget the comma, as it is totally appropriate to the situation. it's not like they cured cancer or anything.

step 4: always wear the same thing, everyday, if you are male. if you are female, wear anything that makes you look like a 24 year old model.

step 5: learn really big words, especially concerning literary or media criticism. then you can be like "that book was bad" or "that movie was terrible"

more steps to come.

Monday, February 16, 2009

spring preview day

was awesome. mostly because of sweet roommates.

yeah, we watched a pirated version of futurama (the last possible movie?) and drank 1.8 liters (64 oz for you conformists) big gulps from the ampm. that's half a gallon, or more accurately, still 1.8 liters, which is one kilo, which is about 4 lbs which i managed to consume in 2 hours. that was a long bathroom break. but yeah. went to bed at 3:30.

also, i have no idea what they were competing for, but apparently it involves a repeat option and "dream weaver" covered by the steve miller band. most infuriating thing ever, especially when the noise dies down and you're trying to sleep. but whatever.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Whether I enjoy snow

it appears that I love snow.
1. Snow is water. as it is in my nature to love water, i should love water.
2. Snow is like sand, and can be used in similar ways. as it is in my nature to love sand as well, i should love snow.
3. snow is used for snowboarding, which is similar to surfing. as it is in my nature to love speed and surfing, and snowboarding lacks any sort of excessive work to begin, i should especially love snowboarding.

On the contrary: Snow is in the mountains. And in order for snow to form in the mountains, it must be either be in a higher latitude (far), or in a higher altitude (cold).

I reply that: Although snow is a most wonderful thing to those who enjoy it, I find it highly difficult to love snow. Snow is hard. Snow often acccompanies ice. Snow also tends to find its way into my hands, feet, and other extremities, and occasionally my torso area, although this is the cause of so-called friends, and not the fault of the snow. Also, i lack proper clothing to enjoy snow.

Response to 1: snow is, may i remind you, fresh water at a temperature at or less than 0 degrees Celsius (yes, i use the metric system). which means, its really cold. plus, when it gets near a warm object, such as me, it prefers to melt. which also means it turns back into water. but this water is not at the temperature of the object of which it is near.
Response to 2: Although snow can be used like sand, sand is much better. Sand can be mixed with various amounts of water to achieve a desired composition, while as snow can only be packed, and should it be overpacked, one must start over.
Response to 3: Snowboarding is for lazy bastards who can't generate the muscle required to walk up the stupid mountain. And snow hurts way more than water.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

funniest spam ever

found this on another site:

Gandlof russia
September 23rd, 2008 01:01
41

hello
my name is gandolf i have same name as lord of rings can you help me please im looking to breed more gremlins type animals my mum wont let me breed no more like little cat animals i from russia can i send you a picture of my little animal i breed i have 5 so far goodgbye gandolf_russia

LOLZ

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

white

i live in an area that has somehow managed to remain mostly illegal immigrant free. so....

white people are everywhere. literally. its...unusual.

plus, asians are a minority in my area. but we're the biggest minority.

there are more females than males in my area. woot!

anyhow...

mom thinks its very likely i'll marry a white girl. which wouldn't bother me. at all. if i marry. which i would prefer not to. because i'm lazy. and i'd rather just have adopt a boy. when i'm, like, 24. because...that would be cool...



do i sound like this? please tell me i don't...

Friday, January 30, 2009

pointless stuff i know

i know the specifications and requirements of every single fish in petsmart/petco.

i know carbon is the basis for atomic weight

i know how p2p apps work (limewire/vuze/utorrent)

i know how many steps on the stairs are in my house

i know paintball tactics

i know how to determine the most likely number a person will think of, from 1 to 10.

i know when a person's lying.

i know how to calculate interest/tax/percentage on a given product.

i know parts of history.

i know that the Jonas Brothers suck.

Monday, January 26, 2009

the pain

it hurts. a lot. running around at break neck speed does that to you. then you get to hobble around the rest of the day. so i'm gonna spend my time in bed reading random epic poetry.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

it's my birthday

i'm seventeen.

Friday, January 16, 2009

well, i thought it was funny

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie... Poof. They are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

Sooooo, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room, stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." Poof. The mirror swallows her.

Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive." Poof. The mirror swallows her.

Then, an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." Poof.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

disclaimer

i'll admit, i don't write a lot. when i do, it doesn't turn out that great. but apparently, sometimes it does. it's like the muse of writing descends and grants me super powers. or a weapon. because, you know, a keyboard is mightier than a sword.

anyways, if there are really more than just two readers on here, here's something i wrote last year.

it scored a perfect. feel free to totally steal it. if you're into that type of thing.

also, there are five references to pop culture. see if you can find them!


Murdock walked on the crowded streets of New San Francisco. He felt alone, and that was the
way he preferred it. All he had with him was his identification tag, enforced by state law, his clothing,
and his keys, and at that point in time, that was all he needed. While he walked, he thought. Murdock
was an old man, being almost two days away from his 189th birthday, and therefore had many things to
think about. He thought about his first few years, growing up in the same neighborhood that he now
walked in. It was very different back then. There were no organic homes, no hoverbuses, no police
drones. Instead, buildings were made out of wood. Wood, he thought, and then laughed a wheeze.
Imagine cutting down trees to make a building! Half the world was city and agriculture and the other
half was rotting stumps and desert. Those were the seventies of the 2200, according to the historians.
Thanks to Jack Bower and his magic beans, the world fertilized and bloomed. This eventually led to a
World War over the beans. All the experts said it would. Murdock recalled the draft. He was only
fifteen at the time, and only avoided it due to the clandestine removal of the artificial human growth
hormone his parents opted to put in him. Good thing his “friends” had supplied him with daily
injections, or he would be considerably smaller than his peers. His thoughts eventually turned to his
love life, an undoubtedly unavoidable thing while thinking about his youth. He had met many girls,
and liked most of them, and most of those liked him back. But he never got serious about any of them.
In hindsight, he though, that was probably a bad decision on a couple of them. He had finally settled
down with one of those opposed to the technological movement. Poor woman, she died relatively early
at the age of eighty. Perfect, if she was living three centuries ago. He didn't marry again. It was too
much of an ordeal, and they didn't have Toxbo back then. His face could have used it, as the valleys on
his face were deep, and the sides of the cliffs would have been a challenge for any climber. All of the
desert was covered with a tan dirt, and the parched land remained free from vegetation. Although the
scientists could hold off death for a while, old age and all of its benefits had Murdock tightly in its
grasp. He still looked better than most of those in the senior home, though. Murdock continued to
cycle through his memory. Twenty gigabytes only go so far, but he did decide to retain his trips around
the world as the owner of a land renting company. That was one of the very few things he could
genuinely thank his father for even if it was only a half of a thank you. His father had died
prematurely, and his mother breathed her last shortly afterwards. The stress had given him stomach
ulcers, which could be healed quickly, but was still painful. His trips were long, and one of the few
ways he could stay away from his life at home. Old Britannia was a particular favorite, with the
excellent beer, warm pubs, and, when the weather was better, the few rolling hills that he could sit on
and do what he was doing now. The United States of Asia would have been better if it wasn't so
crowded and hot. Africa was one of the few old world countries that you could visit back then.
Murdock had visited the tribes in the middle of the Savannah. It was a place where you could actually
touch the ancient pottery, and curators didn't yell at you if you did. Too bad he couldn't stay in one
place for too long. His job demanded it, and he hated it. And after 140 years of work and stomach
ulcers, Murdock traded in his fortune and fame. He grew out his hair and changed his name. And after
18 years of retirement, he found himself here, in the park. He could see the very tips of the giant
golden arches that now made up the Golden Gate bridge. It had to be rebuilt after three centuries of
earthquakes, and the ambitious ones up top (you could always tell how high they were by the amount
of stomach ulcers, unless they were faking it) decided it would be a good idea to help. The scent of salt
and guano-free ocean found itself inside Murdock's nose, and he recalled a time when he used to
paddle on a kayak around the bay. He was too old for this thing now. The government would have
enforced artificial muscles, as the longevity created by this would increase tax revenues, but enough
people started to tear apart buildings and such, and the research had to stop. All he could do now is
walk and think and sit. Sitting was what he was doing now. He doubted he would do anything else for
a while. Murdock was wrong, and he promptly realized this as two policemen unceremoniously placed
Murdock into a transportable cell. Murdock's last thought was something similar to this. After almost
five thousand years of human existence, parricide was still a crime.

it's time to work on my paper

but instead, i write silly parodies! i will have some published soon.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

back to reality

school starts tomorrow. doesn't that just suck? i got home from vacation yesterday. i had one day to spend before school starts, and i spend it watching our beloved chargers lose horribly.

oh, i also spent a good deal of time downloading youtube videos. especially since the new ipod plays videos. i can't believe how small the old 2nd gen screen is. wow.

also, i have 30 bucks in itunes. any suggestions? pandora is giving me nothing.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

mexico food products are weird

for example, milk is shelf stable, which means unrefrigerated. Also it tastes like the good kind of coffee creamer.

Chicken does not taste like chicken. it tastes like...fire.

The salt water is at dead sea level salty and the fresh water is bad for you.

The OJ isn't too good either. it's not real oj. it's mexican oj.

the only thing good down here is beef. except there's no such thing as different cuts. it's all one big part here.

the donuts are mostly powdered sugar with a seasoning of bread.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

wtf?

i don't know if its the dirt or the bumpy roads, but i get the weirdest dreams in mexico.

sadly, i don't remember the best ones, but i do remember that they were rather disturbing (think x rated).

anyways, after a meal of mushy top ramen "ohohoho nasty", i do remember some of a dream.

i was escaping from miami to los angeles. me and about fifty other people were herded onto a bus in the middle of the night. then we got dropped off at a gas station in texas, or something. fifty bucks, and 49 people ran off into the night. at any rate, i got on a dinky boat and was floated out to what was not california, but mexico city. with no passport. so while somehow i could get in, there's no way out.

then i woke up.

also, i miss love. it was great. now it's gone. now all i want to do is fall forever....



AHHHHHHHH! Cut my wrists! Wear black eyeliner! I'm emo again!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

2009.

that's it? no explosion? no giant crash? pfft teh lame.

i don't even have a new years resolution.

estoy en mexico!

its 78 all day. every day. and that's water temperature. for comparison, typical pools are 82-84.

saw huge waves on the other side of some island. wanted to go out. too bad its all over jagged rocks and stops when it hits the cliffs.